Sapa III

Our second day of trekking through Sapa brought an unexpected challenge. In the mountains I had come across such obstacles as roaming waterbuffalos, thorny foliage, even a 3 foot bright green poisonous snake (killed and presented to us on a stick by some H'mong boys). But what I did not anticipate in my traveling was having a drunken guide leading me through the hills.

Before we were even beyond the fields of our homestay, I could tell Quan was having trouble negotiating the trail. When hiking, typically skills such as balance...agility...depth perception are fairly important. But despite complete lack of all these (and several other) motor-skillls, Quan fearlessly and gracelessly trekked ahead at a rather quick pace. At some points I felt like I was chasing after our plastered pathfinder, other times I felt responsible for catching him as he teetered perilously close to the edge of the terraced fields.

About 20 minutes into our hike we came to a small rest stand were there were chairs and Fanta to ease weary travellers. I didn't think our brief stumbling walk had really meritted a rest stop- but, well, Quan insisted... he can be beligerently persuassive, as we had experienced all too well. We sat sipping our colas and shaking our heads giving eachother sideways smiles and glances, when we noticed that we hadn't really seen Quan for about 10 minutes. Looking at the small H'mong woman who ran the rest stop, it didn't take long to follow her giggling nods toward the back of the stand...where we saw some familiar boots hanging out from under a tapestry. Our sloshed chaperone had passed out on a cot. It took a full 20 minutes and physical force to rouse him- and then we hit the trail again. This episode repeated itself twice more before we reached our final destination around 3:00- an hour past our scheduled time to meet the jeep.

We discovered once we'd finally reached the village that our story had spread throughout the land "Quan the tanked-tourguide and his pitiful band of 3 lost foreigners". We were thankfully received by a lovely couple in the village who cooked us lunch and gave Quan an hour to rest in their guest cot. Then we made a final push up to the road were Quan exasperately informed us "You miss the jeep- we take motobike." I could have strangled him, but the thought of pummeling a drunken Vietnamese man seemed too much like kicking a lame sheep...and plus he was the only one who could tell the motorbike drivers where to go.

Tanya and I had to squeeze on the back of one together, 3 to a bike plus my backpack- it was no way to ride a motorbike- most of my posterior was hanging off the back and I was made acutely aware of every bump in the road...and by "road" I mean rock and gravel slope. Garret and Quan, each on their own bike, had sped ahead with their drivers, leaving the much heavier three-some far behind. Twice the engine failed under our weight and we had to walk up the slope to a level ground. Then we ran out of petrol, then we sprung a leak in the oil...finally we abandoned the bike completely and found another. Then we were caught behind road construction - a backhoe that was clawing into the side of the mountain and spreading the broken rocks onto the road as a driving surface...let's just concede that I have a new found appreciation for the Missouri roads.

Seeing the outskirts of Sapa, I couldn't have been more happy had I been pulling into my driveway on Belinder. I was glad to assume this story had come to an end...but wait there's more, one closing finale. Readers beware it's not for the modest of faint of heart.

Arriving dusty and disgusting at the hotel, I was quickly ushered into the staff dorm to get a shower before catching the bus back to Lao Cai. While rinsing off the day and nights worth of grime that I had coated myself in- I thought I heard a door open outside. I called out, and heard a shuffle and a mumble and then thankfully and exiting door shut. I moved cautiously out into the room to dress and arrange my bags. It was rather difficult in the room, crowded with 4 bunks and several big backpacks, quilts, cleaning buckets and general clutter. After dressing the hotel consierge came to tell me the bus was waiting, then turned toward what I thought was a lump of blankets on a bed and shook his head..."oh, Quan..." WHAT?! what I had seen as a harmless pile of laundry was actually Quan, passed out not three feet from where I had been changing. I have never made a more urgent exit from a room. Once safely on the bus, making our way back to Lao Cai- only then was I able to finally sigh and begin laughing...all the way home.