Mission China

Mission Accomplished...thanks to the Captain

It's 04:53, still dark outside, and my internal clock wakes me up a few seconds before my digital clock does more forcefully. Sharply called to full consciousness, sitting bolt upright, I focus on my one clear mission for the day: I must get to China. Had I known the trials and tribulations this mission was going to entail I would have packed some antacid, or maybe some valium...screw Customs, I should have packed some contraband horse tranquilizers to help me cope with insanity we confronted. Given the situation, I'm sure any doctor with an ounce of compassion would have considered any and all narcotics to be a legitimate medicinal sedative. It began when we caught the shuttle bus to the airport. At 6:00am it was already too full to get all 8 of us on so 2 brave souls, Beth and Edgar, volunteered to stay behind and catch the next 606 in 10 minutes. We parted and I tried to sleep for the hour drive to Incheon International. 6 of us arrived together and found the check-in desk. Then I went outside to meet Edgar and Beth on the next 606. But they weren't on it...or the next one...or the next one. Anxiety rising and stomach churning we tried calling Beth's cell, to no avail. Eddie and James contributed by purchasing smoothies at Smoothie King and I wrung my hands nervously and checked my watch like a concussion patient while compulsively shifting my weight from one foot to the other, in hopes that it would somehow help the situation. In the end it must have worked because we spotted Beth and Edgar about 30 minutes later, arriving from a different bus. Obstacle #1 Conquered. Smooth sailing from here would have been nice, but too easy. At check-in my and the other American passport, belonging to James, were pulled out and we were told we had to go to immigration for re-entry visas. We insisted that we had multiple entry visas, but were waved on anyway. Running to the small immigration office in the airport we found about 50 disgruntled travelers crowded around a large counter staffed by two Korean attendants whose job, it appeared, was to calmly ignore the maddening crowds. From the looks of things, they were quite good at this. 45 minutes to take off and we were looking at at least an hour and a half of crowd battling. Not gonna happen. We then were told to go to the immigration office past the security check. So we did just that, and jumped a line of about 75 people by pushing through and looking like we knew what we were doing. It's amazing what you can get away with if you just appear to have permission. Nobody questioned or stopped us as our band of 8 snaked our way between through queue, pushing past those obedient suckers and their retractable blue ropes. 20 minutes to take off. We got to the inner-immigration office which was just 2 guys at a desk, much more accessible and Again, we try telling them that we have multiple entry visas. They nod and make dismissing waving guestures. We even had our Korean friend Eunah explain it but they just handed us the paperwork. So we immediately start filling out forms with all the information I have memorized by now: passport number, work address, blood type, shoe size, elementary school locker code... We are told to wait for processing about 10 minutes...after 9 and a half minutes a man comes rushing out and points to my visa saying, " You have all ready- multiple entry. Here you don't need re-entry visa." How do you say "I TOLD YOU THAT 20 F#*%ING MINUTES AGO" in Korean? I think that's the next phrase I will learn in my language exchange. James, Eunah, and I are passed through the passport check and we have a moment of communal celebration as the last one of our 8 gets waved through immigration. T-minus 5 minutes till take off and we run "Home Alone II" style through the airport to our gate. Settling into my seat, my seatbelt fastened tight and low around my waist, I can finally unfurl my brow and laugh at the ridicularity of the morning's series of unfortunate events. Next stop China. Mission Accomplished.