Northern Exposure

When contemplating where to go on a weekend getaway, most people don't usually think "Hmmm, North Korea is lovely this time of year". And I, like most people, don't usually think it either...but one time I did. And now maybe next time, so will you.

I was skeptical, to say the least, that my American passport would be welcome in the land of Kim Jeong-Il, but I'd been promised that there was "no problem, no problem" (yeah, I've heard that before). Lucky for me this time it worked out, and I was granted entry into this topsy turvy world where few Americans have tread before. Kind of like Canada...



First Impressions: Wow, who knew Communist Oppression could be so lush? Seriously, I was blown away by the amount of green! Without the choking smog of Seoul industry, Korean plants do something quite surprising. They grow and flourish! I admit North Korea did have something to brag about as far as their landscape goes. At times the scenery rivaled that of my trips through Ireland. And the weather, as you can see from the pictures, did it's best to live up to the comparison.

After a lengthy immigration process, conducted in a glorified shed, I acquired a temporary passport page with a North Korean Stamp possibly my rarest passport stamp yet. So rare in fact that I don't even have it anymore. That's the thing about temporary passport pages. But the thing about cameras is that Nothing is Temporary!

Onward into the fray! We rode about 3 miles past the border to Geumkang San and pulled into the complex that would host us for the next few days. It was...odd. "Communist Disneyland" Complete with goofy colored tram. About a 5sq block area that encompassed our visitors' center patrolled by heavily armed soldiers hidden in the surrounding fields (dare NOT cross the bounds of this happy oasis).

But it's hard to really complain as we were hosted in a "5-star hotel" (Though the validity of this review is not beyond question). We were taken on numerous hikes through truly "glorious" mountains, complete with propaganda hailing the "glorious leader" chiseled into the granite.

After hiking past incredible waterfalls, and interesting statues we were treated to an evening acrobat show. It was impressive in all respects, though the most memorable sequence was not one of the several jaw-dropping acts they performed. Rather it was the plate dropping accident that brought the show to a crashing halt. A performer set about spinning and then catching plates thrown in rapid succession. The act began quite well as the actor seemed to have complete control catching more than 20 plates in less than 15seconds. But then, a mistake was made. The band stopped, there was a tense and sickening silence as the performers looked to each other nervously and, visibly shaken, started once more. The show had a hard time recovering the light-hearted frivolity it once had. Consequences, it seemed, were imminent.

But that uncomfortable episode aside, the rest of the weekend was quite enjoyable. We spent several hours in a lovely hot springs spa, watched the World Cup English match on our satelite T.V. in our suite, and even amused ourselves laughing at the ridiculous and inexplicable character statues that popped up around the hiking trails.

So all in all, North Korea has done a comprehensive job in creating a fairly convincing veil of luxury to present to foreign tourists. When asked if I'd go back I had to say, "If they ever decide to show more than that highly restricted and suffocatingly contrived 5 block area, it'd be worth a trip." But for now, there are too many other places (many without military escorts) to go on a weekend getaway.