Northern Exposure

When contemplating where to go on a weekend getaway, most people don't usually think "Hmmm, North Korea is lovely this time of year". And I, like most people, don't usually think it either...but one time I did. And now maybe next time, so will you.

I was skeptical, to say the least, that my American passport would be welcome in the land of Kim Jeong-Il, but I'd been promised that there was "no problem, no problem" (yeah, I've heard that before). Lucky for me this time it worked out, and I was granted entry into this topsy turvy world where few Americans have tread before. Kind of like Canada...



First Impressions: Wow, who knew Communist Oppression could be so lush? Seriously, I was blown away by the amount of green! Without the choking smog of Seoul industry, Korean plants do something quite surprising. They grow and flourish! I admit North Korea did have something to brag about as far as their landscape goes. At times the scenery rivaled that of my trips through Ireland. And the weather, as you can see from the pictures, did it's best to live up to the comparison.

After a lengthy immigration process, conducted in a glorified shed, I acquired a temporary passport page with a North Korean Stamp possibly my rarest passport stamp yet. So rare in fact that I don't even have it anymore. That's the thing about temporary passport pages. But the thing about cameras is that Nothing is Temporary!

Onward into the fray! We rode about 3 miles past the border to Geumkang San and pulled into the complex that would host us for the next few days. It was...odd. "Communist Disneyland" Complete with goofy colored tram. About a 5sq block area that encompassed our visitors' center patrolled by heavily armed soldiers hidden in the surrounding fields (dare NOT cross the bounds of this happy oasis).

But it's hard to really complain as we were hosted in a "5-star hotel" (Though the validity of this review is not beyond question). We were taken on numerous hikes through truly "glorious" mountains, complete with propaganda hailing the "glorious leader" chiseled into the granite.

After hiking past incredible waterfalls, and interesting statues we were treated to an evening acrobat show. It was impressive in all respects, though the most memorable sequence was not one of the several jaw-dropping acts they performed. Rather it was the plate dropping accident that brought the show to a crashing halt. A performer set about spinning and then catching plates thrown in rapid succession. The act began quite well as the actor seemed to have complete control catching more than 20 plates in less than 15seconds. But then, a mistake was made. The band stopped, there was a tense and sickening silence as the performers looked to each other nervously and, visibly shaken, started once more. The show had a hard time recovering the light-hearted frivolity it once had. Consequences, it seemed, were imminent.

But that uncomfortable episode aside, the rest of the weekend was quite enjoyable. We spent several hours in a lovely hot springs spa, watched the World Cup English match on our satelite T.V. in our suite, and even amused ourselves laughing at the ridiculous and inexplicable character statues that popped up around the hiking trails.

So all in all, North Korea has done a comprehensive job in creating a fairly convincing veil of luxury to present to foreign tourists. When asked if I'd go back I had to say, "If they ever decide to show more than that highly restricted and suffocatingly contrived 5 block area, it'd be worth a trip." But for now, there are too many other places (many without military escorts) to go on a weekend getaway.

World Cup Mania!

I admit that at times I've been less than enthusiastic about living in Korea. This is decidedly not one of those times. Being in Seoul for the World Cup was an unexpected hightlight of my time here thus far. It cost me a great deal of sleep, some personal comfort, and perhaps a bit of my job performance. But memories and experience gained were well worth the price.

Over about a 3 week period my sleep patterns yeilded to game schedules, as I struggled to watch the American, Spanish, English and, of course, Korean matches. It was not unusual to go to the bars at 1am on a Tuesday. Rising at 3am to catch match before work was a reasonable thing to do. Even having some nap-time at my desk, in order to be ready or recover was acceptable. The prevailing mantra stood: "It's World Cup. Anything goes." So it went...and so did I.

Korea's first match against Togo was spent with my old SEV buddies at World Peace Gate where a stage and 30' screen had been set up to welcome the crowds. All around people spread out blankets and packed together sharing Kimbab and Soju, Dried Squid and beer. Pyrotechnics accompanied the Korean goals, nearly drowned out by the screaming crowds. I've never witnessed such pure joy and pride at a national sports event. No rowdy hooligans, no drunken aggressive fans screaming obsenities. Just lots of families and friends, giddy with excitement for their team.
But the main event was watching the match against France at City Hall. The game began at 5am and for a week or more a large stage and screen had been set up on grand lawn of the capital. I met with a couple other friends and we headed to claim our patch of grass around midnight. We were too late. By then the ENTIRE green had been filled with a sea of red t-shirts and light-up devil horns. We were pushed back to a side street where we could catch a wonky-angled view of the main stage. We slept a bit in shifts on the thin blanket we had hoped to spread on the soft grass (incidently, the only grass to be found in Seoul). At one point it turned quite ugly as we had to duck and cover from incoming water bottles being bombed onto the crowd in a very Misguided attempt to hydrate the masses. I took one to the temple that momentarily blinded me...but recovered in time for the match to begin. The game was exciting enough for having shared it with some 100,000 other people in close proximity. In the end, though, we had to get to work.

As early morning light started to compromise the resolution on the screen we decided to head back in a cab and snuck out of the crowd. I remember thinking "If ever there was a good time for Kim Jeong-il to make a move...right about now..." As we emerged we got to see the true size and state of the crowd. I've never seen anything like it. All of Downtown was choked with people sitting in the streets, in trees, on top of electical boxes, filling the sidewalks, flooding every alley and parking lot. All heads tilted up, all gazes fixed on one of the several Megatrons perched atop buildings and billboards. All projecting the same image. Mass hypnosis. Everything was quiet. It was eerie. And wicked cool.

I was happy to have joined the throngs. I often feel Korea is a bit cold to foreigners, rarely letting them "in" on they're culture. But on this particular occassion I got to sit in the middle of it. I guess I felt I could slip by while everyone's head was turned. Eyes on Park Ji-Sun.

"Dokdo is Korea!"

So what do you get when you put a tiny rock of uninhabitable land directly between Japan and Korea? An international "It's mine! It's mine! It's mine!" slap & grab fight. And a fun weekend getaway!
Dokdo has been the focus of fierce Korean national pride for most of the 2 .35 years that I've spent here. To be fair, there are fishing rights and territory borders blah blah blah at stake, but it all seems a bit, how shall I say?..Infantile to be bickering over a remote crag that would not garner any interest or value, had it not been for the fact the "other-guy-wants-it". However I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to visit the infamous site and its neighboring resort island Ulleungdo.

As the picture may suggest Jenny and I spent a majority of the weekend under the influence of heavy drugs...for "sea-sickness". The trip there involved a nauseating 3 hour ferry from the Korean peninsular coast to Ulleungdo immediately followed by Another 3 hour ferry of equally tummy turning turbulence to...>Ta DA! a big rock. The pride of Korea...
I'm impressed...really...






Well all was not a loss because there was much fun to be had back on Ulleungdo. We did some good hiking and exploring around the island which turned out to be quite large and mountainous providing some beautiful views. I bet Ulleungdo is bitter that Dokdo gets all the undeserved attention. If it were up to me I'd let Japan have Dokdo, then make them realize what a pathetic prize it truly is next to the bigger, better, inhabitable Ulleungdo. Childish disputes can only be resolved by childish measures. And I am a self-declared expert in that arena.

Buddha Fest!!

A sure sign that spring is finally wandering its way back to Korea is the gradual appearance of brightly colored lanterns, hung for Buddha's birthday. They appear bit by bit, slowly restoring some much needed color and bulbous frivolity to the gray, thawing city. The weekend of Buddha's birthday is commemorated with a street fair and lantern parade. The downtown side streets fill with people of all ages, sizes, colors and shapes (well, there was a notable absence of purple squarish people...) and everyone was eager to soak up some spring sun.

Friends and I made our own lanterns, sampled buddhist food, watched performances and played traditional games.

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Turns out, as a Korean child 100 years ago, I would have been mocked for my inability to jump giant-rope or throw sticks. But now, as it happened, I'm big enough to pummel the kids who laughed at me...they won't do it again.
After the street fair, my friends and I acquired some choice front row seating atop an electrical box for the lantern parade. It was fantastic..ally long. But luminous as well. Great Time!

Hanel-nari=Heaven

So what do you do when you want to fall back in love ....or, perhaps, fall back into tolerant fondness with Korea? Get the hell outta Seoul. Which is exactly what I did with my new co-workers Annabelle and Jenny on this particular weekend.

Our first stop was to an old train station with, lo and behold, an old train. I am told it had been in a famous Korean movie, but the fame must have gone to its head because it was really snobbish and didn't do anything. I suspect it also had a drug problem, but it wasn't my place to say.

Here's Jenny, Annabelle and the famous (ahem..*coked-up*) train.

Just before arriving, the mayor of the area boarded our bus and welcomed us, the first ever foreign visitors, to his small village. It was kind of like Star-trek. Going where no white-person had gone before. Excititing! When we finally got to Hanel-nari we discovered that there are still places in the world where 1987 has not yet arrived. What a utopia for 3 children of the '80s! No internet, no cell-phones, no Britney Spears...aaaah. It was fantastic.

To make up for the lack of digital, cellular, or Teenbeat entertainment Hanel-nari provided a number of more "rural" passtimes. Eating being a favorite of our group. We were set up in homestays and soon sat before the most incredbile Korean meal I have ever seen! Fresh mountain vegetables, and all the tofu this little meat-abstainer could handle! Such rich flavor too, I think I found new tastebuds! For those of you unfamiliar with Korean Traditional food, don't worry, it's suppose to look like that.

After dinner we were set to work making Beeswax candles in bamboo chutes. Everyone got really into the hands on craftiness. It felt like girls scout camp, minus the mac n' cheese and minivans.

The next day we did some hiking around the countryside and picked wild herbs. Then the old ladies in the village used them to make a special rice cake. Which we ate with fresh honey comb from their bee farm. Did I mention how much we ate on this trip? I was one of the sacrificial few who "got the opportunity" to go into the hive area and purloin some heavy, dripping golden comb. So I got the first bite.

After that it was time to say goodbye to our little haven. All the cute little Hanel-narians came out to wave our bus goodbye...so sweet! Must be all the honey.

The Prodigal Blogger Returns

Ok, so I've had a bit of a respite in my blogging...a, shall we say, "non-committal relationship" with my travel log here...a virtual sabbatical perhaps...a web withdrawal...an e-gression if you will (haha I like that one)...a little furlough to, you know, uh, reconnect with my, uh,...harmony? yeeeeaaa....

Enough bullsh*ting...I fell off the blogger band wagon, but I'm gonna triumphantly return with my next big project- ta duh-duh DA! KOREA: a Retrospective! This is gonna be the working title for my sorry attempt to catch up on some of the incredible things that happened to and around me last year. So incredible I didn't write them down, until now.

This is a blatant attempt to quash any harsh feelings you may be harboring against me due to my failure to post.

Please don't be mad at me....I'm so cute!

The Great Peep Pyramid

I ask you: What is Easter without Peeps and Cadbury Eggs? A day to celebrate the prophesized Resurrection of the Messiah? uuuhh, yeeeea...but J.C. just doesn't give you that same high-pitched sugar rush as a slightly stale crispy gooey sickeningly sweet neon marshmallow chick.

So as not to exlude anyone based on religious or chocolate affiliation I hosted a dual Easter Brunch/Holy Chocolate Bunny Day. *Due to my dairy allergy there were no actual chocolate bunnies, but in all fairness, Jesus wasn't there either....

The party included a living room filled with Sunday afternoon sunlight, a table full of food, and a floor full of friends. And what Easter/Holy Chocolate Bunny Day celebration would be complete without a few rounds of microwave Peep wars? Good times had by all, except the Peeps I suppose.

Osaka it to me (sorry that's lame)

Despite the incongruous lameness of my title, my trip to Osaka was anything but feeble. In fact, by all accounts, it was quite robust and nimble. Take for example the way I sprung off the plane, as if with rubber soles, and bounced smack into a small Japanese gentleman in a suit and hat. To make matters even more turbulent I automatically apologized to him in Korean, he looked none too pleased with this cultural faux pas.

But, on to more interesting and less embarrassing stories! Day one: after getting my visa hoopla out of the way I threaded myself throught the weave and tangle of the Osaka Kintetsu Transit to the Aquarium! It was WELL worth the trip as I was amused and enchanted by the sight of both schools of fish...


as well as schools of children...


That evening Cecilia, my lovely friend and hostest from Kansas (on the JET program), and I went for the obligatory conveyor belt sushi! At 100yen a plate I ate no less than 18 pieces...and 3 melon slices. Could have had more...but felt a bit embarrassed.